Should I See a Male Therapist?

Men ask me this more often than they ask almost anything else, usually in the first few minutes of the first call. The short answer is that it depends on you, and that the question underneath it is worth taking seriously.

Some men feel more at ease with another man. They expect fewer explanations, less performing, a shared shorthand about work, fathers, football, the body, what it means to keep going when you are tired. For a man who has never spoken about any of this, that ease can make the difference between booking and not booking.

Other men choose a woman because they want something different. They want to say things to a woman they could not say to a man, or they have noticed that they compete with other men and would rather not do it in the therapy room. That is also a sound reason.

What matters more than gender is whether you feel met. A good therapist of either sex will be curious about you, will not rush you, will tell you plainly how they work, and will not hand you a list of tips in the first ten minutes. You will usually know within a session or two whether something is there.

It is also worth noticing what your preference tells you. If you would never consider a woman, or never consider a man, there is often a story behind that. It does not need to be solved before you start. It can become part of the work, and often does.

My own view is that the relationship is the treatment. I am a man who works with men, and I know what that can offer. I also know it is not the only good route. If you are weighing it up, you are welcome to have a short conversation before deciding anything. You will learn more from how that feels than from anything I could write here.

Inner Warrior Therapy offers psychotherapy for men in Falmouth, Cornwall and online across the UK. If you would like to talk about working together, you are welcome to send an enquiry. To read more about my background and how I work, see About Me.