What Happens in a First Therapy Session

The first session is usually less dramatic than men expect. Nobody asks you to lie down. Nobody asks you to cry. You will not be handed a diagnosis in the first hour.

We start with the practical side. I explain how I work, what is private and the few places where privacy has limits, and what you can expect from me. Then I ask you what brought you here, and I mean that in a loose way. You might begin with the thing that happened last month, or the thing that has been sitting for twenty years. Either is a good starting point.

I will ask questions, but not many. I am more interested in how you tell the story than in collecting every fact in order. I listen for what you move quickly past, what you laugh at, and what seems to cost you something to say.

You do not have to arrive prepared. Some men write notes, which is fine, and some men have no idea what they will say and say it anyway. If you go blank, we can sit with that. It tells us something too.

At the end, we think together about whether this feels useful. You are allowed to leave and decide. Many men want to go away and see how they feel before booking again, and that is a sensible way to choose a therapist. The first session is as much for you to assess me as it is for me to understand you.

If you want to know more about how to make the most of the work once it begins, I have written a longer piece on getting the most out of therapy.

Inner Warrior Therapy offers psychotherapy for men in Falmouth, Cornwall and online across the UK. If you would like to talk about working together, you are welcome to send an enquiry. To read more about how I work with men, see Psychotherapy For Men.