The Backpack in the Storm: How Drivers and Injunctions Shape Our Lives
Abstract
This comprehensive article examines Driver behaviours and Injunctions through a Transactional Analysis lens, offering a contemporary, relational perspective for clients, trainees and clinicians. Drawing principally on Stewart & Joines, Taibi Kahler, and Adrienne Lee, the piece explains what Drivers and Injunctions are, how they form as adaptive survival strategies in childhood, and how they combine to create lifelong Scripts that shape behaviour, energy use and relationships. Using the accessible metaphor “Carrying a Backpack in a Storm”, the article guides readers through recognising common Drivers, typical injunctions, and the energetic cost of living by outdated rules.
Practical features include a structured self-assessment, reflective exercises, somatic and relational interventions, and clinical vignettes showing how clients can move from automatic survival strategies toward conscious Adult choice and re-decision. Authored by Inner Warrior Therapy, a male and sports-specialist psychotherapist in advanced training, based in Falmouth, Cornwall, and offering online therapy across the UK, this article is tailored for men, athletes and performance-oriented clients as well as therapists seeking evidence-informed, relationally attuned practice.
Introduction: Carrying a Backpack in a Storm
Imagine life as walking through a storm, with rain lashing, wind pushing, and obstacles in every direction. From early childhood, we each pick up a backpack, filled with tools, rules, and habits that help us navigate this storm. Some of these items, our Driver behaviours, are the tools and strategies we use to stay upright and keep moving. Others, our Injunctions, are the rules stitched into the lining of the backpack, warning us what not to do, lest we lose balance or get swept away.
Over time, the backpack grows heavier, filled with adaptive strategies that once helped us survive but may now limit spontaneity, exhaust energy, or restrict authentic connection. Transactional Analysis (TA) helps us unpack this backpack, examine each tool and rule, and decide which we carry consciously into adulthood. By understanding our Drivers, Injunctions, and Scripts, our internalised life plans, we can navigate the storms of life with awareness, flexibility, and choice.
This article integrates the work of Stewart & Joines (2012), Taibi Kahler (1991), Adrienne Lee (2009), and relational TA perspectives (Erskine, 1997) to provide a contemporary, relational exploration of Drivers and Injunctions. It includes:
Clear explanations of Drivers and Injunctions
Their origins and adaptive function
Structured self-assessment to recognise personal patterns
Narrative vignettes illustrating real-world experience
Guidance on conscious choice and relational re-decision
The Origins of Driver Behaviours
Driver behaviours are energised, habitual patterns that compel us to act in certain ways. Kahler (1991) identified five primary Drivers: Be Perfect, Be Strong, Hurry Up, Please Others, and Try Hard.
In our storm metaphor, Drivers are the tools in the backpack that we instinctively reach for to stay upright. For example:
Be Perfect is the map, ensuring we avoid pitfalls by following a precise path.
Be Strong is the sturdy walking stick, keeping us balanced against gusting winds.
Hurry Up is the extra sprint, helping us move past puddles and obstacles quickly.
Please Others is the compass, orienting us to the expectations of those around us.
Try Hard is the extra energy rations, pushing us onward when fatigue sets in.
These tools are not inherently bad, they evolved as adaptive strategies to survive early environmental pressures. However, overuse or misapplication can weigh heavily, making the backpack cumbersome and the storm feel overwhelming.
Case Example: The Overloaded Backpack
Anna, a 29-year-old teacher, constantly strives for perfection. Her “Be Perfect” Driver drives her to plan lessons meticulously, proofread emails endlessly, and fear mistakes. Meanwhile, her “Please Others” Driver pushes her to accommodate every request from colleagues. By the end of the day, Anna feels drained, as though her backpack is twice as heavy as it should be.
The Origins of Injunctions
Injunctions are internalised prohibitions that restrict behaviour or self-expression (Stewart & Joines, 2012). In the storm metaphor, Injunctions are the invisible signs stitched inside the backpack: “Don’t step here,” “Don’t lean that way,” “Don’t rest.” They warn us what not to do to avoid danger, rejection, or disapproval.
Common injunctions include:
Don’t Be – Don’t express individuality or assert your existence.
Don’t Be You – Don’t show your authentic self; hide aspects of your personality.
Don’t Be Important – Don’t take up space, have needs, or assert value.
Don’t Succeed – Don’t achieve or excel; avoid attention or envy.
Don’t Belong – Don’t connect deeply; maintain distance in relationships.
Don’t Feel – Suppress emotions; avoid showing vulnerability.
Don’t Think – Don’t have or express opinions or ideas.
Don’t Care – Don’t care about yourself or others; avoid responsibility for emotions.
Don’t Enjoy – Don’t seek pleasure, fun, or satisfaction.
Don’t Be Close – Avoid intimacy; keep others at arm’s length.
Don’t Be Wrong – Avoid mistakes at all costs; fear criticism or failure.
Don’t Exist – Minimise presence; feel invisible or unworthy of attention.
Case Example: The Storm of Prohibition
Sam, 42, grew up in a household where curiosity was discouraged. His injunctions—“Don’t Be” and “Don’t Express Feelings”—became stitched into his backpack. At work, he avoids proposing ideas, even when confident, fearing disapproval. His Drivers, including “Try Hard,” propel him to overcompensate for this self-restriction, leaving him exhausted.
Drivers and Injunctions as Survival Adaptations
Drivers and Injunctions are tools and rules formed for survival. They helped us navigate the unpredictable storms of childhood but can become energy-consuming if activated automatically in adulthood.
Drivers are what we do to stay upright.
Injunctions are what we avoid, sometimes at the cost of authenticity.
Vignette: Compounding the Load
Lena exhibits a “Be Strong” Driver and a “Don’t Feel” Injunction. She faces life’s challenges stoically, rarely expressing vulnerability. Each crisis adds more items to her backpack: worry, responsibility, self-criticism. Her backpack becomes so heavy that she struggles to move freely, missing opportunities for connection and joy.
Understanding these patterns is essential. When the storm intensifies, stress, relational conflict, or fatigue, our overused Drivers may falter, and Injunctions trigger pain, guilt, or shame. Recognising this is the first step toward repacking the backpack consciously.
Recognising Your Drivers and Injunctions: A Self-Assessment
Reflect on your backpack. Which tools are weighing you down? Which rules limit movement or expression? This self-assessment helps clients identify predominant Drivers and Injunctions.
Instructions
Read each statement.
Rate 0 (not at all true) to 5 (very true).
Reflect on recurring patterns and what they reveal about your survival strategies.
Visualise your backpack: which tools are heavy, which rules are restrictive, which could be repacked or set aside?
Driver Assessment
Be Perfect
I feel satisfied only when my work is flawless. I criticise myself for mistakes. Others often comment on my high standards.
Be Strong
I avoid showing vulnerability. I feel I must handle problems alone. I hide weakness from others.
Please Others
I prioritise others’ needs above my own. I fear rejection if I disappoint them.
Hurry Up
I feel restless or rushed, even without deadlines. I often multitask to keep up
Try Hard
I push myself intensely to achieve goals. I feel guilty if I am not constantly striving. I rarely relax.
Injunction Assessment
Don’t Be
“I feel I shouldn’t fully be myself or assert my presence.”
Don’t Be You
“I hold back parts of myself because I think others might not accept them.”
Don’t Be Important
“I often feel my needs, opinions, or contributions don’t matter or shouldn’t matter.”
Don’t Succeed
“I hesitate to achieve or show my abilities for fear of criticism or rejection.”
Don’t Belong
“I feel I shouldn’t fully belong or connect closely with others.”
Don’t Feel
“I try not to show or even notice my feelings, especially strong emotions.”
Don’t Think
“I often avoid expressing my ideas or opinions because I think they might be wrong or unwelcome.”
Don’t Care
“I feel I shouldn’t care too much about myself or other people’s needs.”
Don’t Enjoy
“I find it hard to allow myself to enjoy life or have fun.”
Don’t Be Close
“I avoid getting too close or emotionally intimate with others.”
Don’t Be Wrong
“I feel I must avoid making mistakes or being criticised.”
Don’t Exist
“I often feel invisible or that I shouldn’t take up space in the world.”
Script and the Long-Term Impact
Childhood storms shape what we pack in our backpack. Scripts (Berne, 1961) are unconscious life plans formed by early Drivers and Injunctions. They dictate habitual responses, relational patterns, and self-perception.
Example: Emma carries “Be Perfect” and “Don’t Express Anger” in her backpack. She constantly seeks approval at work and avoids conflict, replicating childhood patterns where safety and love were conditional.
Choosing Your Drivers from Adult
The key to freedom is Adult awareness. We can choose which tools to use, which rules to observe, and which to repack or discard.
Recognise when a Driver is activated.
Assess if it serves your purpose now.
Use it intentionally rather than reactively.
Example: James typically hurries through tasks (“Hurry” Driver). From Adult awareness, he slows his pace before an important presentation, conserving energy and performing more effectively.
Relational Re-Decisions and Working with Injunctions
In Relational TA (Erskine, 1997), therapy provides a safe environment to examine the backpack. Clients can:
Identify restrictive Injunctions
Experiment with new behaviours
Re-decision limiting messages
Example: Clara’s “Don’t Belong” injunction keeps her isolated. In therapy, she safely practices expressing opinions. Gradually, she internalises her right to participate fully.
Clinical Implications
For therapists:
Observe recurrent Drivers and Injunctions.
Explore energy expenditure and relational impact.
Facilitate conscious choice and relational re-decision.
Respect client pacing; unpacking the backpack requires safety.
Conclusion
Drivers and Injunctions are survival tools. They helped us weather storms in childhood but can weigh us down in adulthood. By unpacking the backpack, examining tools and rules, and choosing consciously, clients can:
Use Drivers intentionally
Challenge restrictive Injunctions
Reclaim OK’ness
Navigate life’s storms with agility, spontaneity, and authenticity
Chapter 2: The Origins of Injunctions – The Rules Stitched into the Backpack
Continuing with our metaphor, imagine the storm intensifying. The wind howls, the path becomes slippery, and the backpack on your shoulders feels heavier than ever. Inside, alongside the tools you use to navigate, your Drivers, are a set of invisible instructions sewn into the lining: Injunctions. These are the “do nots” that limit your movement, warn you against certain actions, and often operate below conscious awareness.
While Drivers propel you through the storm, Injunctions tell you what not to do, constraining your behaviour and shaping your experience of the world. Just as a heavy backpack can exhaust you physically, Injunctions weigh on your emotional and psychological energy. Understanding their origins, formation, and influence is essential for reclaiming agency and navigating life with choice.
Understanding Injunctions
Injunctions are internalised messages from early life experiences, often formed before we have the cognitive capacity to evaluate them critically (Stewart & Joines, 2012). They may be explicit, such as verbal prohibitions from parents (“Don’t cry,” “Don’t speak up”), or implicit, communicated through tone, body language, or relational patterns. Over time, these injunctions become automatic, guiding behaviour, emotion, and perception.
Common injunctions include:
Don’t Be – Don’t express your individuality or assert existence
Don’t Feel – Suppress emotions to remain safe or accepted
Don’t Exist – Minimise presence or needs; feel invisible
Don’t Belong – Avoid connection, intimacy, or participation
Don’t Succeed – Avoid achievement that might attract scrutiny, envy, or rejection
In our storm metaphor, these injunctions are the stitched rules that limit movement. If you ignore them, you risk discomfort, anxiety, or relational tension. Yet, they were essential early in life, without them, survival in unpredictable relational storms could have been impossible. The challenge in adulthood is that these protective rules often outlive their utility, restricting spontaneity, authenticity, and connection.
Formation of Injunctions: Relational and Environmental Origins
Injunctions are highly relational. They develop in response to:
Caregiver Behaviour: Children learn to anticipate approval or rejection. Criticism, emotional unavailability, overcontrol, or inconsistent care can all create injunctions.
Example: A mother frequently says, “Boys don’t cry.” The child internalises Don’t Feel as a safety strategy.
Family Dynamics: Patterns of conflict, enmeshment, or neglect teach implicit rules about belonging and value.
Example: In a family where a sibling always competes for attention, one child may adopt Don’t Be to avoid conflict or marginalisation.
Cultural and Social Norms: Gender expectations, social hierarchies, and cultural imperatives communicate unspoken limits on behaviour and self-expression.
Example: In a culture emphasising modesty, a child may internalise Don’t Succeed in overt ways to avoid scrutiny.
Trauma and Stressful Environments: Threatening or unpredictable environments accelerate the formation of injunctions as protective rules.
Vignette: Stitching Rules into the Backpack
Leila, 30, grew up in a household where her opinions were often dismissed. “Don’t Speak” was never said aloud, but she learned to remain silent to avoid ridicule. Her backpack now carries the “Don’t Speak” injunction sewn invisibly alongside her “Please Others” and “Try Hard” Drivers. In meetings, she defers to colleagues despite having expertise, drained by the tension between her tools and rules.
Injunctions and Energy Drain
Just as carrying tools requires energy, adhering to injunctions is exhausting. They demand constant monitoring, self-censorship, and inhibition. The backpack metaphor illustrates this: if you are carrying a heavy pack while simultaneously following rigid, stitched-in rules about what you cannot do, every movement through the storm requires extra effort.
Emotional energy: Suppression of feelings, self-doubt, anxiety
Cognitive energy: Constant calculation of safe choices, overthinking social interactions
Relational energy: Difficulty asserting needs, forming authentic bonds, managing conflict
Case Example: Energy and Exhaustion
Marc, 45, experiences a persistent “Don’t Belong” injunction. He instinctively avoids social gatherings and rarely shares opinions. Combined with a “Be Strong” Driver, he appears composed externally but internally carries a storm of anxiety and fatigue. The backpack is heavy, and every interaction requires extra effort to avoid violating the internal rules.
Interaction of Injunctions with Drivers
Injunctions and Drivers often operate in tandem, creating complex dynamics. Drivers push you to act; injunctions restrain, redirect, or punish behaviour. Together, they shape Scripted patterns of response.
Driver without injunction: May lead to reckless, unmodulated behaviour
Injunction without driver: Leads to paralysis, withdrawal, or self-sabotage
Driver plus injunction: Creates tension, overcompensation, or exhaustion
Vignette: Conflicting Forces
Sophia, 32, has a “Be Perfect” Driver and a “Don’t Express Feelings” injunction. At work, she pushes to exceed expectations, believing this will maintain approval. When criticised, her emotions are suppressed, leading to internal tension and burnout. The backpack metaphor illustrates this: her tools are active, but the stitched-in rules constantly tug in the opposite direction.
Lifespan Development and Persistence
Injunctions formed in childhood often persist into adulthood, even when the original threats no longer exist. They may resurface under stress, relational conflict, or transitions, activating survival strategies unnecessarily. The adult carries the backpack, still stitched with early rules, even when the storm has changed.
Injunctions shape self-concept, relational patterns, and decision-making
Unexamined, they perpetuate patterns of self-limitation, anxiety, or relational avoidance
Awareness allows for re-decision and conscious engagement with the backpack
Reflective Exercises
Inspect the Lining: Visualise the inside of your backpack. What sewn-in rules limit movement? Which are helpful, which are outdated?
Energy Audit: Note situations in which you automatically follow injunctions. How much energy is spent maintaining them?
Mapping Drivers and Injunctions: For each Driver in your backpack, identify any injunctions that restrict or conflict with its use.
Scenario Reflection: Identify a recent stressful situation. How did an injunction influence behaviour? Could Adult awareness have allowed a different choice?
Summary
Injunctions are internalised prohibitions, formed to navigate early relational and environmental storms.
They operate largely unconsciously, stitched into the lining of the backpack alongside Driver tools.
While protective in childhood, they often restrict spontaneity, authentic connection, and energy in adulthood.
Understanding and reflecting on injunctions is critical for repacking the backpack, integrating conscious choice, and preparing for relational re-decision work.
Chapter 3: Drivers, Injunctions, and Survival Adaptations – Balancing Tools and Rules in the Storm
Imagine trudging through the storm with your backpack. The wind shifts unpredictably, rain soaks through, and the ground beneath your feet is treacherous. Inside the backpack, your Driver tools are ready to act: the flashlight of Be Perfect, the rope of Be Strong, the compass of Hurry Up, the map of Please Others, and the boots of Try Hard. Stitched into the lining are the rules of Injunctions: Don’t Be, Don’t Feel, Don’t Belong, Don’t Succeed, Don’t Exist.
Each tool and rule was essential in past storms, helping you survive and navigate challenging terrains. But when combined unconsciously, they create complex interactions, tugging you in conflicting directions and consuming energy at a rate you might not even notice. This chapter explores how Drivers and Injunctions operate as survival adaptations, shaping Script, influencing energy management, and impacting relational life.
Drivers and Injunctions: The Push and Pull
Drivers and Injunctions have a dynamic interplay: one propels action, the other restricts it. The combination often shapes lifelong behavioural patterns, sometimes adaptive, sometimes maladaptive, always influential in how we experience ourselves and others.
Driver Without Injunction: Action without internal limits. Useful for exploration, but may be reckless.
Injunction Without Driver: Restriction without compensation. Can lead to passivity, withdrawal, or low self-esteem.
Driver Plus Injunction: Energy-intensive balancing act. Leads to tension, self-criticism, or overcompensation.
In the backpack metaphor, it’s like carrying a flashlight (Driver) while a tight strap (Injunction) constantly pulls your arm backward. You can move forward, but the effort is exhausting, and you may stumble in the storm.
Vignette: Conflicting Forces in Action
Alex, 29, has a “Please Others” Driver and a “Don’t Express Anger” injunction. At work, he stays late to meet colleagues’ needs, believing it ensures approval. When frustrated, he suppresses anger, internalising tension. His backpack is heavy, and each step through the storm requires conscious effort to manage tools and rules simultaneously.
Energetic Consequences of Survival Adaptations
Both Drivers and Injunctions carry energetic costs. Drivers consume activation energy, pushing you to act continuously; Injunctions consume inhibition energy, restraining natural impulses. The cumulative effect can be exhaustion, emotional depletion, and cognitive strain.
Be Perfect + Don’t Be Wrong: Constant monitoring, self-criticism, fear of failure
Be Strong + Don’t Show Vulnerability: Emotional suppression, difficulty seeking support
Hurry Up + Don’t Slow Down: Chronic restlessness, stress, errors
Please Others + Don’t Say No: Boundary erosion, resentment, fatigue
Try Hard + Don’t Give Up: Persistent overexertion, burnout
These energy drains may feel automatic, as if the storm itself is wearing you down, rather than the backpack. Awareness allows you to identify unnecessary load and begin consciously choosing which tools to use and which rules to relax.
The Adaptive Purpose
Despite their costs, Drivers and Injunctions are fundamentally adaptive, designed to navigate early environmental pressures:
Safety: Injunctions protect from harm or relational rejection
Connection: Drivers ensure relational alignment and acceptance
Predictability: Both provide frameworks to anticipate outcomes in uncertain environments
In early life, these adaptations were not optional, they were essential for survival. They are biologically and psychologically functional, forming the basis for Scripts, relational patterns, and self-regulation strategies.
Vignette: Adaptive Function in Context
Sara, 40, grew up in an unpredictable household. Her “Be Strong” Driver and “Don’t Feel” injunction allowed her to manage emotional volatility safely. Today, the storm is metaphorically calmer, but her backpack still carries these tools. Recognising their original purpose helps Sara view them as protective rather than pathological, while considering which tools to carry consciously now.
Drivers, Injunctions, and Script Formation
Script, as conceptualised by Berne (1961), represents a life plan formed in childhood, incorporating Drivers, Injunctions, beliefs, and unconscious decisions about self and others. Each step in the storm reinforces Script:
Activation of Drivers: Pushes behaviour in line with survival strategy
Activation of Injunctions: Restrains behaviour, perpetuating early rules
Feedback Loops: Success or failure reinforces the unconscious narrative
Example: A child praised only when excelling (Be Perfect) and criticised for mistakes (Don’t Be Wrong) learns a Script: “I must achieve to be loved, and any failure is unsafe.” This Script then informs adult work habits, relationships, and self-concept.
Vignette: Script in Daily Life
James, 36, repeatedly volunteers for extra tasks at work (Be Perfect) while suppressing frustration (Don’t Express Anger). He subconsciously replicates his childhood environment, striving for approval while avoiding emotional risk. The storm metaphor illustrates James navigating complex terrain with a heavy backpack filled with protective yet energy-draining tools.
Recognising Maladaptive Patterns
Not all survival adaptations remain useful. In adulthood, some combinations of Drivers and Injunctions:
Maintain relational or emotional safety unnecessarily
Limit spontaneity and creativity
Reduce intimacy or connection
Exhaust cognitive and emotional energy
Reflective awareness is the first step in unpacking maladaptive patterns. The metaphorical backpack can be assessed: which tools are still necessary, which stitched-in rules are outdated, and where energy is being wasted.
Reflective Exercises
Tool and Rule Mapping: List your Drivers and Injunctions. Identify where they conflict or cause tension.
Energy Awareness: Over a week, notice moments of depletion. Which Driver or Injunction was active? Could conscious choice have reduced strain?
Storm Scenario Reflection: Recall a stressful situation. How did your backpack’s contents influence behaviour? What might you have done differently with Adult awareness?
Repackaging Exercise: Consider leaving non-essential tools or rules temporarily behind. How does this change your experience of the storm?
Integrating Awareness with Relational Practice
Relational TA suggests that the therapeutic relationship provides a corrective environment for examining Drivers and Injunctions. Through reflection, embodiment, and relational attunement:
Clients become aware of energy-draining survival strategies
Repack and reorganise the backpack consciously
Develop choice in deploying Drivers rather than reflexively
Begin to challenge outdated Injunctions safely
The storm metaphor underscores the relational context: the therapist is like a fellow traveler, helping the client navigate treacherous terrain, lighten the load, and gain perspective on which tools are needed and which rules can be relaxed.
Summary
Drivers and Injunctions are interdependent survival adaptations, forming patterns that navigate early relational and environmental demands.
While adaptive in childhood, their unexamined persistence can drain energy, limit spontaneity, and constrain relationships.
Script emerges from repeated activation of Drivers and Injunctions, reinforcing unconscious life plans.
Awareness and reflection enable repacking the backpack, selective tool use, and preparing for conscious Adult choices.
Relational practice provides a safe environment for re-evaluation and re-decision, supporting freedom, spontaneity, and authentic connection.
Chapter 4: Script – The Map in Our Backpack
As you continue trudging through the storm, your backpack now feels familiar, yet increasingly heavy. You’ve explored the tools (Drivers) that propel you and the rules (Injunctions) that constrain you. But how do these elements combine to guide your path, often unconsciously? Here, we introduce Script, the map in the backpack that determines where you think you should go, how to navigate obstacles, and which storms you anticipate.
Script, as conceptualised by Berne (1961), is a life plan formulated in childhood, integrating experiences, injunctions, drivers, beliefs, and relational patterns. Like a map stitched into the backpack, Script is invisible yet influential: it shapes decisions, relationships, and self-perception, often without conscious awareness. Understanding Script is crucial for recognizing why we traverse the same stormy paths, repeat behaviours, and sometimes fail to pause or redirect.
Defining Script in Transactional Analysis
Script is a psychosocial blueprint developed during early life based on parental messages, relational dynamics, and environmental feedback. Stewart and Joines (2012) describe it as an internalised set of expectations and rules that guide the individual’s behaviour toward perceived safety, love, and approval. Kahler (1991) emphasises that Drivers and Injunctions are script-forming elements, forming habitual strategies to meet these early demands.
In the storm metaphor:
Drivers are the flashlight, rope, compass, and boots – they help you move.
Injunctions are the stitched rules, guiding what not to do.
Script is the map sewn into the lining of the backpack, directing your route and shaping how you interpret the storm.
Even if the storm changes, the map often remains unchanged, leading you to take familiar paths, even when they are no longer necessary or safe.
Script Formation: Early Decisions and Life Plans
Script forms through a series of early decisions, as children integrate parental injunctions, praise, and punishment. These decisions are often unconscious, made to navigate relational and environmental demands:
Decision 1: Acceptance: “I must be perfect to be loved.”
Decision 2: Protection: “I must hide anger to be safe.”
Decision 3: Belonging: “I cannot assert my needs if I want to be included.”
These early decisions, once adaptive, become automatic guides, forming the pathways your mind and body follow through life. They determine how Drivers and Injunctions are expressed and influence relational choices, career paths, and emotional regulation.
Vignette: Following the Map
Emma, 28, grew up in a household where mistakes were harshly criticised and emotional expression was discouraged. Her map directs her through the storm cautiously: she chooses safe, predictable paths (following “Be Perfect” and “Don’t Express Anger”). When opportunities for risk or creativity arise, she hesitates, consulting the internal map rather than her Adult self.
The map metaphor illustrates that the backpack can carry all the tools and rules in the world, but without conscious awareness of the map, movement is constrained, often leading to exhaustion or avoidance.
Interaction of Script, Drivers, and Injunctions
Script integrates Drivers and Injunctions into coherent (though sometimes rigid) patterns of behaviour:
Driver activation: Pushes action according to the script’s expectations
Injunction enforcement: Restrains behaviours contrary to the script
Script reinforcement: Feedback from the environment validates the map, even if maladaptive
Consider the storm as a dynamic environment: when the storm shifts, a script may guide you along an old path that is no longer safe, while drivers urge movement, and injunctions resist deviation. The backpack’s map has not adapted, leading to tension and potential exhaustion.
Vignette: Scripted Pathways
Leo, 35, has a “Be Strong” Driver and a “Don’t Seek Help” injunction, embedded within a script of self-sufficiency. At work, he avoids delegation despite overwhelming tasks, exhausting himself to maintain the script. The storm metaphor highlights that the map directs him along familiar, energy-draining paths rather than more efficient alternatives.
Energy Considerations in Scripted Behaviour
Scripts are energy-efficient when early survival demands persist, but in adulthood, adherence to outdated scripts often consumes excessive energy:
Cognitive load: Calculating actions to comply with the map
Emotional load: Suppression of feelings, fear of breaking rules
Relational load: Avoidance or overcompensation in relationships
The backpack metaphor extends here: if the map directs you to climb steep paths unnecessarily, the combination of tools, rules, and old maps can exhaust both body and mind.
Reflective Exercise: Mapping Your Map
Map Awareness: Visualise your internal map. Which paths do you habitually follow?
Conflict Identification: Identify areas where your drivers and injunctions are in tension with the map.
Energy Audit: Note where the map leads to unnecessary strain.
Adult Choice Practice: Consider one path where you can consciously choose a new route, independent of the old map.
Adult Re-Decision: Rewriting the Map
Transactional Analysis emphasises Adult capacity to evaluate and modify scripts. Re-decision allows clients to:
Recognise automatic guidance of the script
Assess usefulness of existing drivers and injunctions
Adjust pathways consciously, choosing which tools to deploy and which rules to relax
In the storm metaphor, Adult re-decision is akin to pausing, consulting the map, and intentionally choosing a new route, perhaps leaving behind unnecessary tools or sewn-in rules. This does not remove the backpack, but reorganises it for efficiency, safety, and freedom.
Vignette: Adult Re-Decision in Practice
Fatima, 42, habitually overworks to gain approval (Be Perfect) while suppressing feelings of frustration (Don’t Express Anger). Through therapy, she identifies that her script map, formed in childhood, directs her along these paths. Using Adult awareness, she consciously chooses to delegate tasks, express feelings safely, and take breaks. The storm is still present, but she moves with greater ease, her backpack lighter, and her energy preserved.
Integration with Relational Practice
Relational TA posits that the therapeutic relationship is a corrective environment to explore and modify scripts. By engaging with the therapist:
Clients test new pathways safely
Observe which drivers are helpful versus reflexive
Challenge outdated injunctions without threat
Strengthen Adult capacity to rewrite the map
The backpack metaphor becomes relational: the therapist can offer guidance, act as a co-navigator, and provide a space where the storm can be examined and negotiated rather than endured alone.
Summary
Script is the internal map, integrating Drivers and Injunctions into predictable behavioural patterns.
Early decisions create maps that guide automatic navigation through life, often outside conscious awareness.
Scripts may conserve energy in childhood but often drain energy and restrict spontaneity in adulthood.
Adult re-decision allows for consulting and rewriting the map, deploying tools intentionally, and relaxing outdated rules.
Relational practice provides a safe environment to explore the map, test new routes, and reclaim choice, freedom, and authentic connection.
Chapter 5: Identifying and Navigating Drivers and Injunctions – Inspecting the Backpack
Now that we have explored Drivers, Injunctions, and Script, we turn to the practical task of identifying what is in your backpack and understanding how it shapes your daily life. Awareness is the first step to conscious navigation of the storm, allowing you to decide which tools to use, which rules to loosen, and how to move through life with more choice and less fatigue.
The Importance of Identification
Unexamined Drivers and Injunctions operate reflexively, consuming energy and dictating behaviour. By identifying them:
Clients recognise automatic patterns in work, relationships, and self-perception
They understand energy expenditure and depletion points
They begin to deploy tools selectively, rather than compulsively
They prepare for Adult re-decision and Script modification
Identification is the inspection of the backpack, feeling the weight of each tool, assessing the sewn-in rules, and recognising which items are helpful, outdated, or unnecessary.
Interpreting the Results
Return to your self assessment from earlier:
Identify dominant Drivers: The tools most frequently used
Identify core Injunctions: Rules that inhibit behaviour or self-expression
Map conflicts: Where Drivers and Injunctions oppose or amplify stress
Vignette: Self-Assessment in Action
Hannah, 34, scores high on Be Perfect and Don’t Express Anger. She realises her constant work and self-criticism is a combination of tool activation and restrictive rule enforcement. Simply acknowledging the items in her backpack allows her to pause, breathe, and choose when to activate the flashlight versus when to ease the straps.
Navigating the Backpack Consciously
Identification is only the first step. Next comes navigation, where Adult awareness enables selective activation:
Pause and Assess: Before acting, consult the backpack. Which tool is necessary for this situation? Which rule can be relaxed?
Check Energy Levels: Notice signs of depletion. Avoid reflexive overuse of Drivers.
Experiment in Safe Spaces: Practice deploying tools differently or challenging injunctions in low-risk settings.
Reflect and Adjust: After each interaction, note outcomes. Did conscious choices lighten the load?
Vignette: Conscious Navigation
Omar, 41, habitually says yes to colleagues (Please Others) while fearing disapproval (Don’t Be Wrong). Through reflective practice, he experiments with setting small boundaries in team meetings. He notices less tension and fatigue, and his backpack feels lighter.
Reflective Exercises
Backpack Audit: Make a list of all active Drivers and Injunctions. Note which feel essential and which feel outdated.
Conflict Mapping: Identify situations where Drivers and Injunctions are in opposition. Reflect on energy use and emotional impact.
Adult Decision Practice: Choose one Driver to deploy consciously, ignoring conflicting injunctions in a low-risk scenario.
Relational Experiment: In a safe relationship, communicate needs or feelings previously constrained by injunctions. Observe internal and relational responses.
Summary
Identification of Drivers and Injunctions is essential for conscious navigation of behavioural patterns
Self-assessment illuminates dominant tools and restrictive rules in the backpack
Awareness enables energy conservation, selective deployment, and preparation for Adult re-decision
Reflective practice and relational experiments reinforce learning, reduce automaticity, and support freedom of choice
Chapter 6: Working with Drivers and Injunctions in Therapy – Unpacking the Backpack
Therapeutic engagement with Drivers and Injunctions requires a nuanced, relational approach. Just as a client carries a backpack in the storm, filled with tools (Drivers) and stitched-in rules (Injunctions), the therapist’s role is to help them inspect, unpack, and repack that backpack in ways that support energy, freedom, and relational connection.
Relational Awareness and Attunement
Central to this work is relational attunement. Clients’ Drivers and Injunctions often surface as somatic tension, affective shifts, or subtle relational cues. Attuned therapists notice:
Micro-expressions of anxiety or withdrawal
Automatic overcompensation in response to perceived scrutiny
Somatic signs of internalised rules, e.g., stiff posture, restricted breathing
Vignette:
James, a 28-year-old athlete, habitually rushes through exercises and explanations (“Hurry” Driver) while suppressing frustration (“Don’t Express Anger” injunction). In session, the therapist notices shallow breathing and clenched fists. Through gentle reflection, James recognises the dual pull of his survival tools and internalised rules, the storm inside his backpack.
Relational awareness allows therapists to track the dance between Drivers and Injunctions, recognising when a client is overusing energy to comply with internalised rules or external expectations. The goal is Adult-to-Adult engagement, not imposing change, but enabling choice.
Somatic and Embodied Interventions
Clients often experience Drivers and Injunctions as embodied sensations: tension, fatigue, muscle guarding, or restless movement. Somatic interventions can include:
Mindful breathing and scanning
Tracking physical responses to triggers
Grounding exercises before exploring script material
Example:
During a discussion about his “Be Perfect” Driver, Alex notices jaw tension and tight shoulders. Pausing to breathe and physically release tension allows him to reflect more openly, decreasing the automatic compulsion to overperform.
Mapping Scripts and Internal Dialogue
Mapping Scripts helps clients visualise the interactions of Drivers and Injunctions:
Identify Drivers: Which habitual actions drive behaviour?
Identify Injunctions: Which “do nots” restrict action or emotion?
Trace outcomes: Where do these patterns create tension or energy loss?
Vignette:
Sophia carries “Be Perfect” and “Don’t Feel” patterns. Mapping these shows a cycle: striving for flawless output while suppressing emotion. When feedback arrives, she overreacts internally despite appearing calm externally. Visualising this cycle externalises it from self-blame and opens discussion about Adult choice.
Therapeutic Re-decision
Re-decision (English, Goulding & Goulding, 1994) is a core TA intervention. Through relational safety, the therapist helps the client consciously choose which Drivers to utilise and which Injunctions to challenge. Key steps:
Awareness: Identify patterns and emotional cost
Adult evaluation: Assess utility in present context
Experimentation: Try alternative responses in session
Integration: Apply choices in real-life scenarios
Vignette:
Marc’s “Please Others” Driver and “Don’t Belong” injunction often leave him exhausted. Through guided experimentation, he consciously says no to a minor request and observes both internal resistance and relief. Adult choice begins to override automatic compulsion.
Managing Conflict and Transference
Drivers and Injunctions surface strongly in therapeutic transference and countertransference. Common dynamics:
Client’s “Be Strong” Driver may mask vulnerability, triggering therapist over-support or impatience
“Don’t Express Anger” injunction may lead to indirect expression through resistance or passive behaviours
Therapists benefit from reflecting on their own scripts and supervision. Awareness allows holding space for tension without enacting it, modelling a relational container that supports Adult re-decision.
Integrating the “Backpack in a Storm” Metaphor
In therapy:
Unpacking: Identify what’s in the backpack (Drivers)
Inspecting: Notice sewn-in rules (Injunctions)
Repacking: Retain useful tools; challenge outdated rules
Choosing when to use tools: Adult selects the strategy appropriate to the moment
This metaphor provides clients with a practical and memorable image, bridging theory and lived experience. It also validates the protective intent of their patterns while inviting curiosity and experimentation.
Exercises for Therapy
Driver Journal: Record moments when a Driver compels action; reflect on energy cost and outcomes.
Injunction Log: Note when internal “do nots” limit behaviour; observe triggers and patterns.
Adult Choice Experiment: Choose one Driver to engage intentionally and one Injunction to challenge; debrief results.
Somatic Check-in: Pair physical sensations with specific Drivers/Injunctions to enhance awareness.
Chapter 7: Gender, Culture, and the Body – Navigating the Storm with Awareness
Transactional Analysis recognises that Drivers and Injunctions are shaped not only by individual childhood experiences but also by social, cultural, and gendered expectations. For men, athletes, and performance-oriented clients, these patterns can be particularly pronounced, often intertwined with societal ideals of strength, stoicism, and achievement. Understanding these dimensions allows therapists to tailor interventions, enhance safety, and support clients in reclaiming agency and embodied freedom.
Gendered Drivers and Injunctions
Male socialisation frequently reinforces certain Drivers and Injunctions. Common patterns observed include:
Drivers
Be Strong: Physical, emotional, and relational toughness is idealized.
Hurry Up: Productivity, efficiency, and action orientation are rewarded.
Try Hard: Perseverance under pressure, often to the point of exhaustion.
Injunctions
Don’t Feel: Emotional suppression is normalised.
Don’t Express Weakness: Vulnerability may be penalized overtly or subtly.
Don’t Belong: Intimacy and relational dependency are discouraged, promoting self-reliance.
These patterns interact with individual scripts to shape internal conflict and energy expenditure, often leaving clients carrying heavy metaphorical backpacks filled with protective tools and sewn-in rules.
Vignette:
Ethan, a 24-year-old rugby player, consistently overperforms during matches (“Try Hard”) while suppressing anxiety and fear (“Don’t Feel”). His backpack is heavy: every decision, practice session, and social interaction requires energy to meet both internal and external expectations. In therapy, exploring these patterns allows Ethan to notice how early experiences with critical caregivers and team cultures stitched these rules into his backpack.
Cultural Contexts and Expectations
Cultural norms can reinforce or create unique injunctions, particularly in sports and performance settings:
Emphasis on toughness, competition, and resilience
Rewarding overachievement while discouraging emotional disclosure
Gendered communication patterns that promote stoicism and problem-solving over relational expression
For male clients, these norms may intensify internal conflicts, activating Drivers to meet expectations while injunctions suppress authenticity.
Example:
A male client in professional athletics may feel compelled to “Be Perfect” and “Be Strong,” yet simultaneously internalize “Don’t Express Anger” or “Don’t Belong” if early coaches or family systems discouraged emotional vulnerability. Therapy must navigate these cultural layers alongside personal history.
Somatic Considerations
For athletes and performance-focused clients, the body is a primary site for Driver and Injunction expression. Somatic patterns can include:
Tension and guarded posture
Overuse injuries from pushing beyond limits (Driver compulsion)
Suppression of sensations or emotions (Injunction manifestation)
Somatic awareness in therapy allows for integrated interventions:
Body scanning to identify habitual tension
Grounding exercises to reclaim energy
Movement-based experiments to experience choice rather than compulsion
Vignette:
Luke, a 31-year-old triathlete, carries the “Hurry” Driver and “Don’t Express Weakness” injunction. His shoulders and back are chronically tense, restricting breathing. Through guided somatic awareness, he begins to notice how these patterns operate both in training and in his personal life, creating an opportunity to repack his backpack with conscious, flexible strategies.
Intersection of Gender, Performance, and Script
Scripts often intertwine with cultural and gender norms:
Performance-based approval (from coaches, teammates, or family) may reinforce “Be Perfect” or “Try Hard” Drivers
Suppression of relational or emotional needs (e.g., “Don’t Feel” injunction) protects status or inclusion
Over time, these adaptations may limit spontaneity, relational depth, and self-awareness
Therapists can facilitate awareness of these patterns, highlighting:
The protective intent of Drivers and Injunctions
Opportunities to consciously choose which strategies to employ
Moments where old rules may no longer serve adult goals
Case Vignettes: Male and Athlete Clients
Case 1: Mark, 27, professional footballer
Drivers: Be Perfect, Try Hard
Injunctions: Don’t Feel, Don’t Belong
Observation: Constantly pushing limits, avoiding vulnerability with teammates or partner
Intervention: Somatic check-ins during reflective exercises; exploration of early family messages about toughness; guided Adult choice experiments in low-stakes situations
Case 2: Tom, 35, amateur boxer
Drivers: Be Strong, Hurry Up
Injunctions: Don’t Express Weakness, Don’t Succeed overtly
Observation: Intense training routines mask anxiety and self-doubt
Intervention: Mapping Drivers and Injunctions; journaling internal conflicts; experimenting with selective vulnerability in relationships outside the ring
These examples illustrate how relational and somatic interventions can target the interplay between gendered expectations, Drivers, and Injunctions.
Practical Therapeutic Approaches
Therapists working with men and athletes may incorporate:
Reflective Journaling: Track moments when Drivers compel action or Injunctions restrict behaviour
Somatic Grounding: Integrate body awareness to reveal hidden costs of patterns
Role Rehearsal: Experiment with small deviations from habitual responses
Relational Experiments: Engage in trust-based relational exercises in session
Metaphor Work: Use “Backpack in a Storm” to externalise, explore, and repack patterns
These interventions help clients balance protective strategies with conscious choice, reclaim energy, and deepen relational connection.
Summary
Gendered socialisation and cultural expectations can amplify or shape Drivers and Injunctions.
Male and athlete clients may experience heightened compulsion, internal tension, and energy expenditure.
Somatic and relational interventions provide accessible pathways for insight, choice, and behavioural experimentation.
Awareness of cultural, gendered, and performance contexts is essential for effective TA-informed therapy.
Chapter 8: Integration – Repacking the Backpack with Awareness
By now, the landscape of Drivers and Injunctions should feel familiar. We’ve explored how these patterns originate in early life, how they are stitched into our Scripts, and how they operate in adulthood, shaping behaviour, energy, and relationships. Like the backpack in a storm, each Driver is a tool we learned to survive with, and each Injunction a sewn-in rule that once protected us but may now limit our freedom.
Drivers and Injunctions in Adult Life
In adulthood, these survival strategies continue to influence:
Energy use: Unconscious activation of Drivers and adherence to Injunctions can exhaust us.
Relational dynamics: They affect connection, intimacy, and authenticity.
Self-expression: Patterns may restrict creativity, spontaneity, and choice.
Awareness is the key: recognising which Drivers compel action and which Injunctions inhibit expression allows us to choose consciously, rather than be compelled unconsciously.
From Survival to Choice
The goal of therapeutic work and personal reflection is not to eliminate Drivers or discard all Injunctions. Instead, it is to repack the backpack intentionally:
Keep the tools that serve adult goals.
Retire or soften rules that no longer protect you.
Use your Adult capacity to navigate life with clarity, energy, and relational depth.
Example: A client with a “Be Perfect” Driver and “Don’t Feel” Injunction can learn to apply high standards when useful, while allowing themselves to acknowledge and express emotions safely.
Consolidating Learning
Reflective exercises throughout this guide can now be integrated:
Map your Drivers and Injunctions, noting energy drains.
Identify situations where patterns are adaptive versus compulsive.
Practice Adult choice in small, safe experiments.
Consider somatic cues that signal activation of old rules.
Moving Toward Freedom and Relational Authenticity
The final step is integration into lived experience. Clients and trainees alike benefit from:
Understanding that Drivers and Injunctions are adaptive, not defective.
Recognising that Scripts are modifiable through Adult awareness and relational support.
Embracing a balanced approach where protective strategies are deployed intentionally, rather than automatically.
By consciously engaging with the contents of the backpack, we reclaim energy, deepen connection, and expand choice, moving from survival-driven patterns toward freer, authentic ways of being.
Conclusion — Why Deep Self-Knowledge Matters
Drivers and Injunctions are not moral failings; they are carefully constructed survival tools and sewn-in rules developed to keep a young self safe during early storms. Yet left unexamined, these adaptations can steadily drain our energy, limit spontaneity, narrow intimacy and replay outdated scripts in work, sport and relationships. The therapeutic and personal work described in this article is therefore not about removing the backpack altogether, but about learning to inspect it, repack it, and choose which tools to use and when.
Deep, disciplined self-knowledge changes everything. When we can name our Drivers, feel the somatic signature of our Injunctions, and trace the script maps that lead us into predictable stormy paths, we gain the Adult capacity to act intentionally rather than reactively. This shift returns energy to where it belongs, for creativity, presence and meaningful connection and allows formerly protective behaviours to be used strategically, rather than compulsively.
For men, athletes and performance-focused clients, the stakes are high: habits that once secured survival may now undermine wellbeing and performance. Relational, somatically-informed TA work offers a humane pathway: recognising adaptive intent, creating safe corrective relational experiences, and practising re-decisions that reclaim OK-ness and agency.
At Inner Warrior Therapy, I hold this stance in the therapy room, curiosity over judgement, relational presence over quick fixes, helping clients to unpack the backpack with compassion and rigour. The more deeply we know ourselves, the more effectively we can choose how we move through life’s storms: lighter, clearer, and freer to form the connections that matter.
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