The Cultural Parent and Male Suicide
Transactional Analysis (TA), a psychological framework developed by Eric Berne, examines how human behaviour is influenced by three primary ego states: Parent, Adult, and Child. Among these, the ‘Cultural Parent’; is a powerful subset of the Parent state, encompassing social norms, values, and expectations passed down across generations. While these cultural messages can provide structure and belonging, they can also impose harmful ‘scripts’ or ways of viewing and being in the world that negatively impact mental health. For men, such scripts can create or exacerbate conditions that contribute to the rising rates of male suicide worldwide.
This article explores how the Cultural Parent in TA facilitates male suicide by enforcing rigid expectations, stigmatising vulnerability, and suppressing emotional expression.
The Role of the Cultural Parent:
The Cultural Parent represents the collective voice of society, shaped by cultural, social, and familial norms. It acts as an internalised set of rules and values that influence behaviour and identity. For men, the Cultural Parent traditionally promotes ideals of masculinity, which can be both restrictive and damaging. Common messages include:
Emotional Stoicism: ‘Real men don’t cry’
Self-Reliance: ‘You must handle your problems alone.’
Provider Role: ‘Your worth is tied to your ability to succeed and provide.’
Dominance and Control: ‘You must always be in charge.’
While these messages may offer guidance in some contexts, their rigidity can lead to psychological distress, particularly when men face challenges that conflict with these expectations.
How the Cultural Parent Facilitates Male Suicide:
Enforcing Emotional Suppression
The Cultural Parent discourages men from expressing vulnerability, framing emotions like sadness, fear, or grief as weaknesses. This suppression prevents men from processing their feelings in healthy ways, leading to emotional repression and a heightened risk of depression and anxiety, a little like the energy required to hold a ball underwater. Men will generally internalise these messages from a young age in childhood, making them entrenched patterns, making breaking out of ‘script’ incredibly challenging; this can result in a limited ability to seek support during crises. This isolation is a significant risk factor for suicide when fused with hopelessness or despair.
Stigmatising Help-Seeking Behaviour
The Cultural Parent often labels help-seeking as a failure to meet the ideal of self-reliance. Phrases like ‘man up’ or ‘don’t show weakness’ discourage men from accessing psychotherapy, counselling, or even confiding in those around them. This stigma perpetuates a cycle of silence, where shame or a lack of worth inhibits them seeking resources or support men with the psychological problems they are experiencing.
Pressure to Fulfil Provider Roles
Societal messages often equate masculinity with success, dominance, and financial stability. When men experience unemployment, financial difficulties, or other setbacks, they may feel they have failed in their roles as providers. The Cultural Parent’s emphasis on external achievements over intrinsic worth can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and worthlessness, which are closely linked to suicidal thoughts. Psychotherapy supports men in finding a greater intrinsic sense of worth and therefore more resilient to the demands of our society.
Promoting Forms of Masculinity
The Cultural Parent frequently and often quietly, reinforces dominance and invulnerability, discouraging men from forming deep emotional connections with one another. This lack of meaningful relationships exacerbates loneliness and social isolation—key risk factors for suicide. The competitive drive instilled by the Cultural Parent can also lead to internalised self-criticism and low self-esteem when men fail to measure up to societal expectations.
Suppressing Emotional Literacy
Cultural messages often fail to teach men how to identify and articulate their emotions, instead preferring to promote a sense of stoicism or ‘being strong’. This lack of emotional literacy leaves men ill-equipped to navigate life’s challenges, increasing the likelihood of turning to self- destructive coping mechanisms like substance abuse or suicide.
Understanding the role of the Cultural Parent in male suicide offers a pathway to intervention. Challenging and rewriting harmful societal messages can help create a healthier environment for men. The Cultural Parent in Transactional Analysis holds immense influence over how men perceive themselves and their roles in society. While it can provide structure and a sense of identity, its rigid and often harmful messages about masculinity contribute to the alarming rates of male suicide.
By acknowledging and addressing the role of the Cultural Parent, we can work toward reshaping societal norms to support men in leading emotionally healthy, connected, and fulfilling lives. Life as a man comes with unique challenges—societal expectations, suppressed emotions, and the pressure to perform. As someone who comes from a rugby background and understands these struggles, I offer a therapy space where you can re-write your story.
With over four years of experience, I specialise in Transactional Analysis, a powerful approach to personal transformation. I focus on helping men:
Break free from limiting patterns rooted in the past.
Build self-awareness and confidence.
Navigate emotions like anger and stress in healthier ways.
Improve relationships and communication.
My approach is straightforward, collaborative, and tailored to you. I provide a safe, judgment-free space for you to explore who you are and who you want to become. Together, we will:
Understand your patterns: Unpack how your past influences your present.
Rewrite your story: Challenge outdated beliefs and create new narratives.
Transform your life: Build strategies to help you thrive, in the here and now.
TA empowers you to:
Take control of your thoughts and emotions.
Build stronger relationships through better communication.
Gain clarity and confidence to tackle life’s challenges.
Areas of Expertise:
I specialise in working with men on issues like:
Anxiety, stress, and depression
Anger and emotional regulation
Trauma and past wounds
Self-esteem and confidence
Sports performance and mindset
Life transitions and personal growth
Your Next Step:
At Inner Warrior Therapy, you’re not just “talking.” You’re working toward lasting change. I invite you to book a free 30-minute consultation to see how we can work together. Sessions cost £50 for individuals and £60 for couples and they take place at the Wellness Hub in Falmouth, a space designed to support your growth.
You can contact me via email: carl@innerwarriortherapy.co.uk or call me on 07307224924
If you’re ready to tackle your challenges, discover your inner strength, and take control of your story, let’s begin.
Carl Stephens Founder of Inner Warrior Therapy
